Put that woman first

11:35:00 AM


Over the weekend, on my way to Dar es Salaam and i am woken up by loud cheers in the bus, two ladies are fighting over a window. One, slim lady with a weave wants it wide open despite the strong wind killing the four rows of people behind her including her opponent, a plus size walalo(Somali) sitting immediately behind her. According narrations,there is a series of shut and open games, the walalo slaps the slim lady's hand when she tries to open the window to which the lady responds with a slap on the walalo's head. The two ladies exchange what were meant to be punches and loads of pulling of the slim lady's weave. The men around cheer as the women including myself half asleep watch in awe. The conductor finally breaks the fight and all the people in the four rows side with the walalo, and it is resolved that the window should remain shut.


 Having a resolution did not bring peace but a massive degradation of the ladies from the men as the women around laughed and cheered them on. They called the slim lady a 1GB stick with a broom on her head that was almost pulled off and almost made her disappear, the women around most in weaves laughed and cheered on as the men downplayed weaves and how they wouldnt marry a woman with a weave or would send their wives back to the salon with scissors in hand if they came home with weaves. the walalo was labelled 4GB and the women broke into another spell of laughter despite the fact the walalo had a perfect body, breast - waist - hip ratio. The men warned them from messing with al shabaab as they'd blow them in an instant. 

 This trip was all bliss for me as I was on my way to a treat to Zanzibar after two weeks speaking, performing and attending mental health projects in Ghana but after this event, I got so disgusted.

... I was disgusted with myself because all I did when the men made the jokes and women laughed was throw them my disgusted look , put my earphones on and started to write this post.
... I was disgusted by the men and the cheap thrill they got from this event 
But most of all, I was disgusted by the women who instead of protecting their own, sat there and cheered the men as they crucified the two ladies but how can I blame them, they had weaves and spoke against them.

Is it a spirit of self righteousness that we carry, 
Is it that same spirit that has me writing this post feeling a better woman because I didn't laugh 

 Maybe all that happened wouldn't have if I said you are all being cruel, but the thought of being the subject of discussion with my big earrings, tens of bangles, spoon around my neck was not something I was ready for, given I was travelling alone and that pressure would have triggered a seizure. 
 Maybe if the women didn't laugh,the men would have stopped 

 Whatever the case, I hope my contribution through this blog post will inspire some women to stand up and speak and not turn to their heads down to their tablets like I did. 
I hope this post will make women understand we can only rise up if we rise together, that we need to cover each others nakedness, put each other's dignity above all so that men can follow suit and show respect.
 I hope this post will make my brothers, cousins, and all the men in my life stand up and cover my nakedness as their sister, blood or not, when their fellow men decide to make a feast out of it.
 I hope this post will make a difference in how our society treats women.

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1 comments

  1. yea...i agree with u!!am such a feminista...pro pro women it really annoyz wen women fight there own n side with men while men forever defend and cover for their boyz!!!!

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