Thursday, August 21, 2014

We are the choices we make, or don't make

We all make our choices, the hard part is living with them 
(from The words,  movie)

I finally got to watch The Words featuring Bradley Cooper, another item checked off my bucketlist.  It is an interesting watch where as a struggling writer Bradley's character finds a transcript which he publishes as his own making him what we popularly know as best selling author. The owner gets him and tells him the story behind the transcript and says he wants nothing and won't sell him out just wanted to tell him it was his life spelled out on the transcript. Bradley's character has to chose between telling the truth and making amends or letting it all slide and living in the fame.

I am not sure if it is a story or a reality but it is a good watch which made me think about life and choices we are constantly making, things that are forever screaming enjoy me, choices you made yesterday, the day before, last year or just a few hours ago, how are they affecting you now? Some choices seem small and insignificant like working an extra hour and spending less time sleeping or resting, eating a packet of crisps a day or using the stairs instead of lift, but they end up being the start point of a very destructive lifestyle or to an amazing lifestyle depending on the choice.  I made the choice not let the ordeal I went through 11 years ago put me down, i made the choice that daily i will tell my story because every day there is a child, a man,  a woman who gets abused, who gets diagnosed with epilepsy or a mental health condition and they need to know they are not alone, that they can rise to be anyone they want to because it is possible from my own experience and all they need is to make the choice. I am glad I made the choice never to let it or my diagnosis put me down but to raise above it all. I'd lie if I say it was easy to get here, it still gets draining at times, I got into some self destructive ways of dealing with my stress and the consequences weren't pretty but again I had to make a choice of whether to become another statistic or stand up and be a face and voice for those who choose otherwise or don't even know they have a choice.

I have also learnt that even when we choose not to make a choice, we are making a choice. What choices are you enjoying now and which ones are you dreading? What choices do you need to make? Are you equipped to live with the consequences of your choice?

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Please use your liberty to promote ours

My devotional this morning was on the fruits of the Holy Spirit and i am battling with one and during quiet time, i was able to identify my weak link and come up with ways to prevent it. After devotion, I visited Wonder Workshop which reminded me so much about Kuona Art Centre in Nairobi, the only difference, Wonder Workshop is run (not owned though) by people living with disabilities; from the gate man to the guy who showed me around, Shukuru who was quick to show me a letter and photos of former US president George Bush, save for three people who I saw hanging around.

I got some amazing art pieces which I will be sharing as the days go by but today i am all about the neck piece in the picture made from bottle cans thingies (Oxford Dictionary scholars what's the word). The unison of the can thingies and the people who labored to make the beautiful art pieces reminded me of two quotes, the one shared above as the title by Aung San Suu Kyi and the one I have tattooed on my right hand;  until all of us are free,  none of us is free.

I strongly believe that we are all interlinked.  I may have kinda found my footing with my illness, but it doesn't mean the suffering for that person living in Garissa or Low dar with a mental health condition is none of my business.  I see the opportunity God has presented me with from my voice, to my poetry, this blog, the interviews and even this time I have just to unwind and reposition myself not as avenues to better myself alone but to give hope to those living with mental health conditions and their families and also be a bridge to them and the services they so much require.

I visited Wonder Workshop to see their model and I was impressed by the pride of the man who opened the gate for me and Shukuru who showed me around. As much as i shouldn't be working for the whole week, it doesn't hurt to rejuvenate the mind with new thoughts as i let go of old ones. It also gave me insight on how to deal with the fruit i really want but i have issues with.

How are you using your freedom? Do you believe your liberty is tied to others?

kibera side b life: INTERNATIONAL YOUTHS DAY 2014

kibera side b life: INTERNATIONAL YOUTHS DAY 2014: Last week I was supposed to write an article about on Tuesday’s international youth’s day event which was held in KICC but due to some ...

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

INK - Freedom for All

With my bday coming up, the BIG three O and people are still asking to see my ID because i apparently look very early 20s...not complaining, I was thimking about my life and my politics (the thing that always remain true to me when I am high, when I am low, then I am on my poles and when my seizures visit and leave) and two things stood true (apparently my love for food,  art, moon watching and books is secondary...hope all those moments won't shy away now I that I am coming clean)

1. My belief that mental health should be taken seriously from personal to family, national to international platform until we start having those conversations and keep holding them, until those in chains, those without hospitals to go to, those with nowhere to get info and support, those stigmatised and discriminated against still exist amongst us...i will always have work to do and i am not free until my tribe (those living with mental health conditions and epilepsy plus their families) are free (or on their way)...and neither is any one else on earth. I am fully aware that I can't solve it all, much more aware that since I kinda have my footing I can run and do something else but....

2. My hard taught lesson that unless we ground ourselves to something or someone higher than ourselves, that in as much as we have to believe in ourselves to get to where we have to be, we also have to live above ourselves and that power comes from deeper than deep within. Some say it's from above, others around, some give it a human feel, others just marvel at its wonder...I have a personal, intimate relationship, we have frequent conversations and even though it has been a TRIP getting to let go and have faith in he who has many names and descriptions, I call him JESUS.

Do you have ink on you? When did you get them and why?

PS: Contrary to popular belief, inking ain't I relearnt how powerful the mind is, I have always thought it would be really painful getting inked, but it wasn' isn't getting freedom for us all right?

Friday, August 8, 2014

Kenya's Youngest Billionaire opens about his mental health after hearing my speech

Today I stepped out with my Hesey Design bag custom made by Nigerian designer
and blue Ankara from my Kenyan designer Achie Otigo

Good evening beautiful people,
Don't let the start of this week fool you because I have ended my week on a HIGH note and not the medicinal high, I decide not to follow up on doctors to taper my meds and just split the meds into two and that is how you taper meds chldren. I wore my best Ankara pieces and began my day by going to the wrong hotel for the International Youth Day roundtable, confused Laico for Intercontinental and was already  serving breakfast before I found out I was in the wrong hotel so I had to leave my plate and run to Intercon in time to give my speech (read it here).